This blog is about wallowing in self pity something which I totally feel like doing tonight. It's going to be all 'woe is me' and whingeing and whining so be warned self pity alert!!!!
Worked really hard this week on the 'lifestyle' change and for what????!!!!! I put ON 200g I wanted to get my weight watchers book and hurl it at the poor lady (who is very nice) sitting behind the desk who said 'Don't worry love you are doing so well, it just happens like that sometimes' Terribly unfair I know to want to throw things at such a nice caring lady but all the same I wanted to.
How can I possibly have gained weight?? It makes no sense at all. I have exercised, eaten sensibly, avoided the extra portions, weighed my bloody food, measured spreads and oils. I am being completely anally retentive about what I eat and don't eat. I manage to get through Sunday after Sunday watching my family eating their roast dinners with yorkshire pudding, heaps of potatoes and lashings of gravy whilst I spray a bit of freakin chicken and spray one very, very small roastie. I am to say the least very p****** off!!!
Of all the nights I needed to stay at the meeting I didn't. I realised if I sat there any longer I was going to cry, how ridiculously pathetic is that!! Instead I did something incredibly destructive that I already regret and means this week will be even harder. I took myself to the pictures ordered a BLT sandwich and a bag of maltesers and ate till I felt sick!
Did it make me feel better? No of course it didn't ....stupid thing is I knew it wouldn't I was just so peeved. All my hard work this week felt like such a waste of time. It takes so much effort to work full time, look after my two girls and stick to this new lifestyle and tonight it just felt too hard.
I didn't just fall off the wagon tonight I absolutely jumped as far as I could. Tonight I am left feeling like I have now let myself down terribly. All the plans I had in place to deal with these times failed me, even the thought of my girls couldn't interfere with the beast eating maltesers.
I can't even bear to start adding up points for my mistake tonight and you know what I don't think I am going to.
I am going to get up tomorrow, pick myself up, stop feeling sorry for myself. Get my gorgeous girls and go for a walk then I am going to come home have a good wholesome breaky and do some Billy Tae Bo on the internet and pick up the pieces and carry on. It's just a set back right? Not a huge one and does anyone come along this road without the odd set back? Probably not and like everyone else I am just human.
I know I can do this, my family and my friends keep telling me I can and you know what you're right I can. Thanks to my Mum and my lovely friend tonight (you know who you are!) for keeping me sane and keeping me in check, letting me moan and then cyber slapping me back into place, I love you for it.
Keep safe folks