I have been pretty poorly for a couple of weeks and I have really been struggling to do anything to be honest. I have been staying with my folks next door which has been lovely, nothing like your Mum to make you feel better.
A few years ago I got pretty sick with an unknown condition effecting my gastrointestinal system. After a couple of months in hospital and a plethora of tests more than you could poke a very big stick at they took out my gallbladder then they moved onto something called (and I warn you now I only get things with very silly names!!) Sphincter of Oddi dysfunction. Basically it's a muscle a circular band of muscle at the bottom of the biliary tree which controls the flow of pancreatic juices and bile into the second part of the duodenum and it went wrong. Yes I found it confusing too!!
I had two operations to fix this faulty oddi and thought it was behind me after-all has been nearly two years. However a couple of weeks ago I started to get a tightness just under my rib cage, a sort of spasm, really frightening feeling. If I am truthful I started getting it about six weeks after the last oddi operation but it wasn't too bad just uncomfortable and would pass. When I went onto weight watchers 12 weeks ago it went away completely so figured I had cured it with the change of lifestyle.
I couldn't have been more wrong, I struggled through last weekend without somehow managing to end up in the emergency department then come Monday saw my GP over in Howick (who is incidentally I reckon the best GP in the world!!) he made me appointment with a Gastro specialist in Remuera part of the MacMurray Group.
I was seen on Friday by the nicest consultant. I haven't had a lot of luck when it comes to consultants really, in fact most have just been plain horrible!! So to see a kind, gentle consultant who actually listened to me was more than a breath of fresh air. I am going in on Friday for a load of what sound like pretty horrible tests. He thinks it's possible I have something called (wait for it...) 'Nutcracker esophageal Syndrome' , you gotta laugh, it 'cracked' me up! It's basically where the esophagus goes into a spasm, with the strength to crack a nut. The Doc has given me some angina spray till then in case I get any more attacks to keep me out of the dreaded ER room!!
I have stopped the exercise as it exacerbates the problem which is really, really frustrating. I was just starting to enjoy it (actually 'enjoy' might be too strong a word!) I went along to WW last week and had lost a further 1.3Kg bringing my total to 10.3kg which I am totally thrilled about. I have to say I am worried now things are going to go a bit pear shaped. Looking back at past experience I know that for me this situation is dangerous as far as my weight loss journey goes. It is the time when I lose my determination, illness makes me feel like 'why bother' which is not helpful at all!
I made the decision to speak to our lovely leader Kate at WW and explain the situation. Not knowing the rules I also worried if I missed the meeting would I get chucked out etc. I was super impressed by Kate's support and care. She assured me they would be no chucking out my membership and that she would keep in touch to check my progress. I feel like I am taking control of my situation before it before I have a chance to sabotage my own progress. It made me feel pretty powerful really and firmly in the driving seat of my own destiny. Illness can really make you feel unmotivated and low but I have come so far on this journey I have to try to keep it together. There isn't much I can do about the exercise but it won't be like that forever. I just need to keep tracking my food and keeping my head focused on why I was doing this in the first place.
It's hard not to be a little pissed off that one of my reasons was to attain better health but what's the point of wallowing it doesn't achieve anything!!
My focus for this week is to keep laughing or least smiling.... hmmm however at present I am swearing my head off after I turned to get up and make a cuppa half way through my 'let's keep smiling' sentence and put my back out. Me thinks this might be a 'challenging' week.
|'Rosie' and 'Charlotte'|
Have a good week folks and stay well!!
My dear KateReplyDelete
I can only say a heartfelt "Good on ya, mate!"
My mantra at the moment is
"What you do most of the time matters most" and it certainly keeps me in a better headspace than I have been recently.
Keep at it and hug your girls tight. The Attitude of Gratitude can be a very powerful thing.
love and hugs
Thank you Val, thinking of you all - you are all in my prayers every night honey.Delete